S.P.A.Y.-L.E.E.

Lee County Pet Rescue 501(c)(3)

A Dog’s New Year’s Resolutions

12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.
11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.
10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.
8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.
7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
6. Announce accomplishments: Do happy kick-back dance after taking a dump.
5. Always scoot before licking.
4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.
2. Patience is a virtue.  Wait for squirrel to reach ground and mailman to reach door before jumping out from hiding place and sounding alarm.
1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

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